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my arms around her。 So I just leaned carefully against her side； letting my arm rest along the length of
hers； and held her hand。 Then I put my other hand against her face。 It was hard to tell if she felt colder
than usual。
〃Thanks； Jake；〃 she said； and I felt her shiver once。
〃Yeah；〃 I said。
Edward sat on the arm of the sofa by Bella's feet； his eyes always on her face。
It was too much to hope； with all the superhearing in the room； that no one would notice my stomach
rumbling。
〃Rosalie； why don't you get Jacob something from the kitchen？〃 Alice said。 She was invisible now； sitting
quietly behind the back of the sofa。
Rosalie stared at the place Alice's voice had e from in disbelief。
〃Thanks； anyway； Alice； but I don't think I'd want to eat something Blondie's spit in。 I'd bet my system
wouldn't take too kindly to venom。〃
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〃Rosalie would never embarrass Esme by displaying such a lack of hospitality。〃
〃Of course not；〃 Blondie said in a sugarsweet voice that I immediately distrusted。 She got up and
breezed out of the room。
Edward sighed。
〃You'd tell me if she poisoned it； right？〃 I asked。
〃Yes；〃 Edward promised。
And for some reason I believed him。
There was a lot of banging in the kitchen； and—weirdly—the sound of metal protesting as it was
abused。 Edward sighed again； but smiled just a little； too。 Then Rosalie was back before I could think
much more about it。 With a pleased smirk； she set a silver bowl on the floor next to me。
〃Enjoy； mongrel。〃
It had once probably been a big mixing bowl； but she'd bent the bowl back in on itself until it was
shaped almost exactly like a dog dish。 I had to be impressed with her quick craftsmanship。 And her
attention to detail。 She'd
scratched the word Fido into the side。 Excellent handwriting。
Because the food looked pretty good—steak； no less； and a big baked potato with all the fixings—I told
her； 〃Thanks； Blondie。〃
She snorted。
〃Hey； do you know what you call a blonde with a brain？〃 I asked； and then continued on the same
breath； 〃a golden retriever。〃
〃I've heard that one； too；〃 she said； no longer smiling。
〃I'll keep trying；〃 I promised； and then I dug in。
She made a disgusted face and rolled her eyes。 Then she sat in one of the armchairs and started flicking
through channels on the big TV so fast that there was no way she could really be surfing for something to
watch。
The food was good； even with the vampire stink in the air。 I was getting really used to that。 Huh。 Not
something I'd been wanting to do； exactly。。。
When I was finished—though I was considering licking the bowl； just to give Rosalie something to
plain about—I felt Bella's cold fingers pulling softly through my hair。 She patted it down against the
back of my neck。
〃Time for a haircut； huh？〃
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〃You're getting a little shaggy；〃 she said。 〃Maybe—〃
〃Let me guess； someone around here used to cut hair in a salon in Paris？〃
She chuckled。 〃Probably。〃
〃No thanks；〃 I said before she could really offer。 〃I'm good for a few more weeks。〃
Which made me wonder how long she was good for。 I tried to think of a polite way to ask。
〃So。。。 urn。。。 what's the； er； date？ You know； the due date for the little monster。〃
She smacked the back of my head with about as much force as a drifting feather； but didn't answer。
〃I'm serious；〃 I told her。 〃I want to know how long I'm gonna have to be here。〃 How long you're gonna
be here； I added in my head。 I turned to look at her then。 Her eyes were thoughtful； the stress line was
there between her brows again。
〃I don't know；〃 she murmured。 〃Not exactly。 Obviously； we're not going with the ninemonth model
here； and we can't get an ultrasound； so Carlisle is guesstimating from how big I am。 Normal people are
supposed to be about forty centimeters here〃—she ran her finger right down the middle of her bulging
stomach—〃when the baby is fully grown。 One centimeter for every week。 I was thirty this morning； and
I've been gaining about two centimeters a day； sometimes more___〃
Two weeks to a day； the days flying by。 Her life speeding by in fastforward。 How many days did that
give her； if she was counting to forty？ Four？ It took me a minute to figure out how to swallow。
〃You okay？〃 she asked。
I nodded； not really sure how my voice would e out。
Edward's face was turned away from us as he listened to my thoughts； but I could see his reflection in
the glass
wall。 He was the burning man again。
Funny how having a deadline made it harder to think about leaving； or having her leave。 I was glad
Seth'd brought that up； so I knew they were staying here。 It would be intolerable； wondering if they were
about to go； to take away one or two or three of those four days。 My four days。
Also funny how； even knowing that it was almost over； the hold she had on me only got harder to break。
Almost like it was related to her expanding belly—as if by getting bigger； she was gaining gravitational
force。
For a minute I tried to look at her from a distance； to separate myself from the pull。 I knew it wasn't my
imagination that my need for her was stronger than ever。 Why was that？ Because she was dying？ Or
knowing that even if she didn't； still—best case scenario—she'd be changing into something else that I
wouldn't know or understand？
She ran her finger across my cheekbone； and my skin was wet where she touched it。
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〃It's going to be okay；〃 she sort of crooned。 It didn't matter that the words meant nothing。 She said it the
way people sang those senseless nursery rhymes to kids。 Rockabye； baby。
〃Right；〃 I muttered。
She curled against my arm； resting her head on my shoulder。 〃I didn't think you would e。 Seth said
you would； and so did Edward； but I didn't believe them。〃
〃Why not？〃 I asked gruffly。
〃You're not happy here。 But you came anyway。〃
〃You wanted me here。〃
〃I know。 But you didn't have to e； because it's not fair for me to want you here。 I would have
understood。〃
It was quiet for a minute。 Edward'd put his face back together。 He looked at the TV as Rosalie went on
flipping through the channels。 She was into the six hundreds。 I wondered how long it would take to get
back to the beginning。
〃Thank you for ing；〃 Bella whispered。
〃Can I ask you something？〃 I asked。
〃Of course。〃
Edward didn't look like he was paying attention to us at all； but he knew what I was about to ask； so he
didn't fool me。
〃Why do you want me here？ Seth could keep you warm； and he's probably easier to be around； happy
little punk。 But when walk in the door； you smile like I'm your favorite person in the world。〃
〃You're one of them。〃
〃That sucks； you know。〃
〃Yeah。〃 She sighed。 〃Sorry。〃
〃Why； though？ You didn't answer that。〃
Edward was looking away again； like he was staring out the windows。 His face was blank in the
reflection。
〃It feels。。。 plete when you're here； Jacob。 Like all my family is together。 I mean； I guess that's what
it's
like—I've never had a big family before now。 It's nice。〃 She smiled for half a second。 〃But it's just not
whole unless you're here。〃
〃I'll never be part of your family； Bella。〃
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I could have been。 I would have been good there。 But that was just a distant future that died long before
it had a chance to live。
〃You've always been a part of my family；〃 she disagreed。
My teeth made a grinding sound。 'That's a crap answer。〃
〃What's a good one？〃
〃How about； 'Jacob； I get a kick out of your pain。'〃
I felt her flinch。
〃You'd like that better？〃 she whispered。
〃It's easier； at least。 I could wrap my head around it。 I could deal with it。〃
I looked back down at her face then； so close to mine。 Her eyes we