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。 What a waste that would be。 If I were to give in to the monster； I might as well make it worth the defeat。 I played a CD of music that usually calmed me； but it did little for me now。 No； what helped most now was the cool； wet； clean air that drifted with the light rain through my open windows。 Though I could remember the scent of Bella Swan s blood with perfect clarity； inhaling the clean air was like washing out the inside of my body from its infection。 I was sane again。 I could think again。 against what I didn t want to be。 And I could fight again。 I could fight
I didn t have to go to her home。 I didn t have to kill her。 Obviously； I was a rational； thinking creature； and I had a choice。 There was always a choice。 It hadn t felt that way in the classroom but I was away from her now。 Perhaps； if I avoided her very； very carefully； there was no need for my life to change。 I had things ordered the way I liked them now。 Why should I let some aggravating and delicious nobody ruin that？ I didn t have to disappoint my father。 I didn t have to cause my mother stress； worry pain。 Yes； it would hurt my adopted mother； too。 And Esme was so gentle； so tender and soft。 Causing someone like Esme pain was truly inexcusable。 How ironic that I d wanted to protect this human girl from the paltry； toothless threat of Jessica Stanley s snide thoughts。 I was the last person who would ever stand as a protector for Isabella Swan。 She would never need protection from anything more than she needed it from me。 Where was Alice； I suddenly wondered？ Hadn t she seen me killing the Swan girl in a multitude of ways？ Why hadn t she e to help to stop me or help me clean up the evidence； whichever？ Was she so absorbed with watching for trouble with Jasper that she d missed this much more horrific possibility？ Was I stronger than I thought？ Would I really not have done anything to the girl？ No。 I knew that wasn t true。 Alice must be concentrating on Jasper very hard。 I searched in the direction I knew she would be； in the small building used for English classes。 It did not take me long to locate her familiar voice。 And I was right。 Her every thought was turned to Jasper； watching his small choices with minute scrutiny。 I wished I could ask her advice； but at the same time； I was glad she didn t know what I was capable of。 That she was unaware of the massacre I had considered in the last hour。 I felt a new burn through my body the burn of shame。 know。 I didn t want any of them to If I could avoid Bella Swan； if I could manage not to kill her even as I thought that； the monster writhed and gnashed his teeth in frustration then no one would have to know。 If I could keep away from her scent There was no reason why I shouldn t try； at least。 what Carlisle thought I was。 The last hour of school was almost over。 I decided to put my new plan into action at once。 Better than sitting here in the parking lot where she might pass me and ruin my attempt。 Again； I felt the unjust hatred for the girl。 I hated that she had this unconscious power over me。 That she could make me be something I reviled。 I walked swiftly a little too swiftly； but there were no witnesses across the tiny campus to the office。 There was no reason for Bella Swan to cross paths with me。 She would be avoided like the plague she was。 The office was empty except for the secretary； the one I wanted to see。 She didn t notice my silent entrance。 Make a good choice。 Try to be
Mrs。 Cope？ The woman with the unnaturally red hair looked up and her eyes widened。 It always caught them off guard； the little markers they didn t understand； no matter how many times they d seen one of us before。 Oh； she gasped； a little flustered。 She smoothed her shirt。 Silly； she thought to herself。 He s almost young enough to be my son。 Too young to think of that way Hello； Edward。 glasses。 What can I do for you？ Her eyelashes fluttered behind her thick Unfortable。 But I knew how to be charming when I wanted to be。 It was easy； since I was able to know instantly how any tone or gesture was taken。 I leaned forward； meeting her gaze as if I were staring deeply into her depthless； small brown eyes。 Her thoughts were already in a flutter。 This should be simple。 I was wondering if you could help me with my schedule； I said in the soft voice I reserved for not scaring humans。 I heard the tempo of her heart increase。 Of course； Edward。 How can I help？ Too young； too young； she chanted to herself。 Wrong； of course。 I was older than her grandfather。 But according to my driver s license； she was right。 I was wondering if I could move from my biology class to a senior level science？ Physics； perhaps？ It there a problem with Mr。 Banner； Edward？ Not at all； it s just that I ve already studied this material In that accelerated school you all went to in Alaska； right。 pursed as she considered this。 They should all be in college。 teachers plain。 Her thin lips I ve heard the Perfect four point ohs； never a hesitation with a response； never a wrong answer on a test like they ve found some way to cheat in every subject。 Mr。 Varner would rather believe that anyone was cheating than think a student was smarter than him I ll bet their mother tutors them Actually； Edward； physics is pretty much full right now。 Mr。 Banner hates to have more than twentyfive students in a class I wouldn t be any trouble。 Of course not。 Not a perfect Cullen。 aren t enough seats as it is I know that； Edward。 But there just Could I drop the class； then？ I could use the period for independent study。 Drop biology？ He mouth fell open。 That s crazy。 How hard is it to sit through a subject you already know？ There must be a problem with Mr。 Banner。 I wonder if I should talk to Bob about it？ You won t have enough credits to graduate。
I ll catch up next year。 Maybe you should talk to your parents about that。 The door opened behind me； but who ever it was did not think of me； so I ignored the arrival and concentrated on Mrs。 Cope。 I leaned slightly closer； and held my eyes a little wider。 This would work better if they were gold instead of black。 The blackness frightened people； as it should。 Please； Mrs。 Cope？ I made my voice as smooth and pelling as it could be and it could be considerably pelling。 Isn t there some other section I could switch to？ I m sure there has to be an open slot somewhere？ Sixth hour biology can t be the only option I smiled at her； careful not to flash my teeth so widely that it would scare her； letting the expression soften my face。 Her heart drummed faster。 Too young； she reminded herself frantically。 maybe I could talk to Bob I mean Mr。 Banner。 I could see if Well； A second was all it took to change everything： the atmosphere in the room； my mission here； the reason I leaned toward the redhaired woman What had been for one purpose before was now for another。 A second was all it took for Samantha Wells to open the door and place a signed tardy slip in the basket by the door； and hurry out again； in a rush to be away from school。 A second was all it took for the sudden gust of wind through the open door to crash into me。 A second was all it took for me to realize why that first person through the door had not interrupted me with her thoughts。 I turned； though I did not need to make sure。 control the muscles that rebelled against me。 I turned slowly； fighting to Bella Swan stood with her back pressed to the wall beside the door； a piece of paper clutched in her hands。 Her eyes were even wider than usual as she took in my ferocious； inhuman glare。 The smell of her blood saturated every particle of air in the tiny； hot room。 My throat burst into flames。 The monster glared back at me from the mirror of her eyes again； a mask of evil。 My hand hesitated in the air above the counter。 I would not have to look back in order to reach across it and slam Mrs。 Cope s head into her desk with enough force to kill her。 Two lives； rather than twenty。 A trade。 The monster waited anxiously； hungrily； for me to do it。 But there was always a choice there had to be。 I cut off the motion of my lungs； and fixed Carlisle s face in front of my eyes。 I turned back to face Mrs。 Cope； and heard her internal surprise at the change in my expression。 She shrank away from me； but her